I’m worried about my body lately. It takes a lot for me to admit that because I grew up in a house where we didn’t really go to the doctor much. If we had a problem, we walked it off or waited for it to pass. Now i live with this mentality that I wait a couple weeks for my symptoms to go away. If they’re still bearable, I can live without seeing a doctor. I had shingles for weeks before I saw a doctor for it.

Josh and I lived in a house that had mold. Around the same time we noticed the mold, he started having his multiple sclerosis symptoms. Lucy died of liver polyps, which the vet attributed to genetics but Josh discovered is also a side effect of mold spores. He was convinced the house was giving him his MS symptoms, and it’s highly likely. When that was happening, I noticed a drop in my ability to focus and to process thought, but I contributed it to bad diet (and it likely was the case).

After that, I wasn’t really the same.

And now it’s getting worse. It has nothing to do with the mold this time, and I keep convincing myself it’s because I work long hours so it’s natural to be exhausted. Because I don’t exercise as much as I should. In all honesty, though, I’m starting to realize my adrenal glands aren’t performing well. I knew this would happen eventually as a side effect of my hypoglycemia. I’m getting 8 hours of sleep per night, allowing my body to wake up naturally out of a REM cycle rather than forcing it to wake up at a certain time. I thought my inability to focus had to do with my lack of glasses, so I got glasses. I’m still exhausted. I’m still getting migraines. My brain can’t focus. My anxiety levels are heightened, and my emotions aren’t the same.

I’m actually very worried about my body and about my self.

I feel as though I have a brain fog. I can’t even focus on writing this blog entry. I’m antsy but at the same time I’m yawning, my eyes are watering they’re so tired, my body feels exhausted.

When I’m in meetings, I can’t focus on what people are saying. I’m disinterested in what they’re saying. I’m not engaged in conversations and I can’t actively think about things any more.

Part of me feels like I’m making all of this up and that these symptoms are either nothing, or part of something else. But I also think that part of me exists because of that built in idea that I shouldn’t seek out help.

I’m coming up with a care plan that will help weed out external factors. Exercise daily - I went for a walk this morning. A regular diet filled with fiber and protein. Supplements to ensure I’m getting the vitamins I need. I need to do a detox on my body to get all the yeasts and bacteria out. I need to stop consuming sugar. I need to drink more water.

I was doing a lot of these things for a while, and I felt amazing. I need to keep a healthy balance so I’m not fucking my body up, though. I don’t eat processed foods anymore, and I’ve been consuming a LOT more raw foods.

First on the list: no more coffee or sugar. High grain foods regularly. Detox tea and candida cleanse.

If, in two weeks, I don’t start feeling better, I’m going to go see a doctor. This can;t continue this way.